Review - Evidence (2011)

Evidence is a film that will leave many people divided. In fact, Evidence is a film that I guarantee most horror fans won't leave on past twenty minutees. You see, it is that first twenty minutes that will undecidedly prove what most horror fans already know about three quarters of the DTV fair they see: that they've seen it all before. THAT might be exactly what filmmakers Howie Askins and Ryan McCoy are counting on, because the first twenty minutes of Evidence might be one of the biggest red herrings in recent horror history.

We are immediately treated to a quartet of late teen/ early twenty something actors from the onset of Evidence that are straight out of a build-it-yourself slasher kit. These kids, like most horror fodder, make all the wrong moves at all the wrong times ensuring their peril becomes our entertainment. Shot in full "found footage vision" we follow these meatbags around as they hike, drink, fight and flash their way into our hearts, all to the backdrop of mysterious goings-on in the forest around their tents (yes, they even elect to sleep in these tents despite having an RV a mere quarter mile down the trail). Some of this, in fact, is done so deliberately that I can't help but to feel as though the first act itself is almost a movie-within-a-movie; movements that are so familiar to us that we take the tried and true Ten Little Indians formula that horror gleefully exploits for granted and we start to just sleepwalk through the motions. I'm not saying that Evidence is a high brow piece of meta fiction mind you, but it manages an air of self awareness that you can't help but think was present from the first frame. THIS is how Evidence manages to pull the rug out from under you with such break neck speed that by the time the credits roll you're wondering if someone hijacked the production midway through.

But I digress...soon the gang realizes they are not alone and are assaulted by shrill otherworldly screams that seem to circle them from the darkness. We do get some nice tense moments here as the audio behind the screams is pretty damn eerie. Well, before we know it our party is down by two and our female leads are fearing for their lives. We might want to put our bug-shit crazy glasses on at this point as this is exactly the road Evidence starts to barrel down with reckless abandon.

Evidence is able to actually push the found footage approach to an extent where the final act is maybe one of the best uses of POV we have seen in a horror movie. I could go on to give you a play by play of Evidence's what-the-fuck moments in its final minutes, but what the fuck...exercise some restraint and see Evidence through to the end. Recommended



Evidence is available March 12th on DVD

BXX: Haunted Early Access Sign Up Limited To 5000

I have been watching Daniel Knauf's newest project Bxx: Haunted and waiting for an actual release date. Well its time to get off your ass and over to BxxWeb before its too late.

As of now, you can go to the BxxWeb and supply your email address for early access when the website goes live. Once they hit 5000 people the registration will close and the following Friday will see the site launch. If you are not part of the magical 5000 people to make the cut you will be waiting for an undetermined public release date.

For those of you who do not know, this is a first for a project like this and it will be free of charge via the Internet. The story seems to be of the paranormal nature with a massive warehouse and 80+ cameras. You will be the director in this case and have the ability to watch any camera or scene you like. They take seasoned actors and make them live the 48 hours on camera which comes out to 800+ hours of footage to stroll through.

People are always bitching and moaning that nothing new is ever done and blah blah. Well here is your chance to support something new and very different.

5000 is not a very big number when you consider the good old world wide web and all the users. So get over to BxxWeb and sign up before it is too late.

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest (2011)

You can't keep a good psychopath down... unless you melt his face with acid and bash it in with a baseball bat; that would be a great tag line for this movie. We pick up right where the story of the first one left off. As anyone who saw the first movie all the way through you know there would be a sequel. So as the smoke settled from the finale of the first movie ChromeSkull's body disappeared from the crime scene and it seems there is a nefarious group called The Organization which facilitates the killer and his minions. Will this sequel hit the same chords to become somewhat of a cult following like the last movie? Let's take a look and see if old shiny face has it in him to kill again.

This time around it seems we have got a little better talent when it comes to the acting. The addition of Brian Austin Green as Preston (who has not wanted to kill this guy since the 90210 days) and Danielle Harris as Spann were both great ideas and fit well. Nick Principe has been one of the few to return is this movie and reprises his role as ChromeSkull For the uneducated ChromeSkull is a bit of a high tech killer who wears a shoulder mounted camera when killing so he can enjoy the memories for eons to come. This time around we are see an Organization which CS and all of his cronies belong. Not a lot is said of this Organization so we really have no idea what it is for outside of an office and some warehouse space. The movie follows a pretty standard "shake and bake" slasher formula. Gruesome exaggerated killing like the first movie, rinse and repeat.

I would like to give these guys some credit because you can see the production value has increased and this leads to better sets, effects and overall feel of the movie. Once again Robert Hall is at the helm to take us on another "not so pg-13" trip. The first movie did not skimp on gorey creative kills and the second did not disappoint either. I think having Hall at the helm has also helped to keep the makeup and effects pretty top notch seeing he is considered by many to be one of Hollywood's best. I did have an issue with the fact I felt like they were ripping the Saw series off a little. I mean come on, we now have minions doing some killing, a warehouse with different deadly areas kinda like weapons or traps and a killer too incapacitated to do his own bidding. I am in no way saying the first movie was original but it never felt like pieces were directly pulled from any one movie.

So now it is up to Preston and Spann to get our shiny killer all patched up and back to what he does best, killing. Preston sees himself as the predecessor to ChromeSkull and goes as far as tattooing this upon himself. Spann is an assistant of sorts to the recuperating killer and also vying for top spot by tattling on Preston to show his lack of loyalty and misguidance. The story is pretty standard throughout the flick and rides on the killing much like the first. This whole "organization" bit was introduced but not explained at all. This led to a lot of head scratching and just plain did not help the story at all. The pacing was dreadful while the environments seemed even less dynamic than the last movie, which had an excuse because the budget was so low. The second half drags along and presents even more plot holes, some so big you could park a car in them. I am not saying the first movie was written better but it sure as hell was not worse.

The first movie was more or less a delivery machine for some creative kills and lots of blood. When you go to make a sequel to a movie like Laid to Rest you need to not only up the an-tee on the killing but also the story, actors, environments, etc. You can see a lot of the extra budget went into effects which is appreciated but in the end a crappy plot and poor writing cripple what could have been a killer flick. If you enjoyed the first movie this one should be an ok way to spend 90 minutes. If you are here expecting some type of back story or evolution from the first movie, you will be let down.



Originally posted by contributor Christopher Young

Review - The Tunnel (2011)

The Tunnel is the Mercedes of found footage flicks. Now, depending on where you currently stand on the topic of what is soon to be one of the most loathed sub-genres to grace the silver screen in the last twenty years, that could mean very little. What it is in a nutshell is a very well produced picture that straddles the line between faux documentary and yet another take on the Paranormal Activititty (yes, I said Activititty… I mean, c’mon… Katie Featherston’s um… “talents” were downright juggnormous in that movie.. and glorious…ohhhh soooo glorious….moving on) popularity that has swept movie houses and kept phenomenal box office receipts hitting Variety headlines every October. In its defense, it’s a better movie with better acting than its predecessors, and it shows it in every fame.

The Tunnel starts us off with interviews from both a cameraman and investigative journalist (two of the original party of four) that were involved in the horrifying events that the film centers around. The tunnels beneath Australia are part of a conspiracy, it is revealed and our protagonists were hell-bent to investigate their many mysteries, with, of course, the blessing of the station they worked for. Well, blessing might be overdoing it as we find out that the station itself had no clue as to their methods for entering the forbidden tunnels (unlawfully of course after a failed bribe to one of the security guards on site) and now the hunt for the truth behind the disappearance of some of the city’s homeless turns into a fight for survival for the quartet of would-be investigators.

The Tunnel might suffer from an overall lack of originality if it suffers from anything. A small group of people get caught in unfamiliar territory after being warned to stay far away and now they themselves are victims of a lurking evil with an insatiable thirst for blood… like I said… this isn’t a post World War 2 musical about gay lab apes in love (yeah.. you heard it… hella-original and free for the casual reader to run with) it’s a horror movie with a similar premise to the score of those that came before it. Again, the proof is in the pudding and the proof here is tunnel’s very atmospheric locale and the believability of its cast. To say the movie is claustrophobic is an understatement as we follow our quartet through the labyrinthine twists of the city’s tunnel system. Couple this with just the right amount, or lack thereof, of light, and the film’s environment is rife with suspense. THIS, is what separates The Tunnel from its contemporaries. We go into it knowing that two comrades are destined for the dark beyond yet we still feel the scares nonetheless.

Although we never get a very clear image of exactly what is hunting our crew (these scenes are IR but thankfully it actually adds to the tension instead of being just a green backdrop to a timer and some sleepwalking… or sleepstanding… wow… that really does make it sound a little more boring, doesn’t it? I like the idea of sleep sprinting myself… a little chariots of fire set amidst images of faceplants and sweaty pjs) we don’t feel like victims of “pull-the-rug-out from-under-us” shaky cam, either. We are treated to just enough to get our imaginations going…which… now that I think about it..is a pretty successful tactic for a horror film, isn’t it?

Like I said earlier, The Tunnel might not give much hope to detractors of the found footage genre, but to me, I’d rather have a Mercedes with some resell value than a Gremlin with an empty Mcdonald’s bag in the passenger seat and a petrified fry on the floorboard.

Review - World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries 2

This is usually where I start by gushing about zombies and my love for them, but not this time. Have you ever pulled a joke on someone just because one was pulled on you previously in the same manner? I think we have all done this in one form or another believing we had good reason. In the case of this movie I ended up double pranked. Not only did this suck as bad as the last one, but the jag off friend that recommended it is probably laughing as he reads this right now. You know who you are and your time will come (wink).So we start off following the last film and the outbreak is only spreading as we watch a shaky cam version of a little girl's birthday party overrun by the undead. We see the return of Leanne, (now played by Alxi Regan) who was in the film crew in the first movie. She is the sole survivor of the first movie, which is ok because almost none of the characters were worth remembering. Jones is now the man entrusted with documenting the terror as he is rolling with this squad as their military photographer. There is an attempt at holding the fort which proves futile and Leanna, Jones and a few other soldiers make it out. So off we go to find a new place to call home. This takes us through different abandoned areas and woods. Then we find the enemy hide out which seems to be human bandits with booby traps a plenty. We see the return of some so called bad guys from the first film, but once again who cares as almost nothing was memorable the first time around. There are plot twists tying Leanna to past events unfortunate and such but I am not going to spoil that for you loyal ZD fans. As with most of these flicks we are racing to salvation, and in this case that comes as a boat before everything is fire bombed to kill the outbreak (yawn).The make-up and effects were better this time around and you could tell the budget was increased. I am not sure why or how the green light and budget happened for this flick. I just chalked it up to making a quick buck on this zombie craze before it is tapped out (which if you are counting was before 2011). The acting was well... the acting. Nothing amazing or genre changing but at the same time on par with what we have come to expect from these "feature a day" movies. Music was the usual ho hum crap along with the sound effects. If anything the sound was poorer due to damn shaky camera/documentary style filming.My biggest complaint was the way this was filmed. The whole shaky camera/found footage/night vision crap is almost always a terror to watch and not in the good way. The green luminous light or night vision made a lot of effects and action hard to see. Personally when I see this stuff its rookie crap. It is all to easy to cover up bad CGI/acting/effects/makeup etc, by killing the light and distorting the picture as if we are there. Listen, I am not looking to be there but more or less see a decent flick which unfortunately this is not. Now will you please excuse me, I have a bag of dog sh*t to light on fire and leave on a friend's doorstep.

Pros
Better makeup then the last movie
Makes a great prank gift for jag off friends
Cons
Shaky cam style
Night vision camera
So so acting

Posted by contributor Christopher Young

Review - George Romero's Dead Time Stories

Ahem... an open letter to George A. Romero...
"I love Night of the Living Dead. It was the first movie that ever scared me AND for that and a bevy of other reasons it will always hold a special place in my heart. Also, Mr. Romero, I loves me some Dawn of the Dead, and, well day of the dead wasn’t horrible either, but please please stop. Just stop."

I went into this anthology with high hopes but I might as well have watched one of the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits clones that inevitably come out every year. This film is absolutely no different from any of the other knockoffs. That means it isn't horrible, but not good either

It starts with a cryptic, supposed-to-be-creepy intro by George and doesn’t get much better from there. The tales are bloody but ultimately transparent. There is no time where you don't see "it" inevitably coming. It all just feels rehashed.

On the bright side there are multiple stories that do have completely different angles. Between a vampire that makes house calls, a cannibalistic tribe and a mermaid you have quite a variety to choose from here. Like I said earlier: it is not bad... it is just average. BUT if Romero puts his name on it I think it should be of better quality...OR he could just like money..no harm, no foul George.

Like alway,s watch it because it is worth at least a perusing... if just for the corny intros Romero delivers.




2 and a hlf hypos

Review - Zombie Honeymoon

Well, what can I say about this film that wasn't already said about A Tale of Two Cities...well a lot actually because A Tale of Two Cities is a classic and this movie is an overly dramatic pile of poo. Please understand that I never prejudge a movie on production value or sound or well, anything, I judge on content and this movie is bleeehhhhhhck. Spoilers may follow.

It starts with a happy young punk/hipster couple getting married and going on a romantic month long get away to the lovely....jersey shore...that’s right the jersey shore. Now I was intrigued because Snooki scares the bejesus out of me and I wanted that kind of visceral scare. Unfortunately I was sorely disappointed as no guidos were present in this zombie classic. So over tanned fake Italians aside, Denise and Danny (our newly weds) embark on their new lives. They start this like many young newlyweds do by doing it in the back yard then going surfing. Wellllll as Danny boy is taking a nap a seaweed covered zombie emerges from the water and attacks him....thought it was for a second but still no snookie....as the zombie attacks it vomits blood all over young Danny and causes Danny to go into cardiac arrest. If only this movie would have ended there. Later at the hospital our hero(?) comes miraculously back to life to the delight of his wife and my dismay.

When they get back home and Danny is different, and by different I mean eating people. This is really where the movie swerves into stupid country. Sweet, sweet baby Denise thinks this is icky and odd but still loves her man. This continues as he eats more and more people, and may I add people closer to both of them....but she looooves him so its okay.

You may think by this point this is a comedy but no, no its not. This crap fest is filled with way to many overly dramatic pauses and moments that do not add anything to it. You start to feel like he should eat her dumb ass to put her out of our collective misery. It ends the way you think it will but hope it wont.

I’m not saying to avoid this film, in fact celebrate it with a loved one and point out to them you would put them down like a rabid dog if they ever started eating people.

originally posted by contributor David Winterborne